Spiderman: Xstyle
by kayleespade
Summary: Parody of the first Spiderman movie with Kitty and Piotr directing. ROMY
1. Castings

Spider-Man: X-Style

By: KayleeSpade

Disclaimer: Nope… I don't own Spider-man or the x-men.

A/N: Okay...this is _very_ different from what I normally write and I'm not so sure I like all of this, but I've had some requests to see it. I actually had the first three chapters finished for over a year, but haven't had the nerve to post. So I hope you enjoy and find some humor in it. This was inspired by the parodies of CatF and Rogue 283. There is a little fun at Jean and Scott's expense. I actually really like the couple.

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Somewhere deep in the heart of New York….

"Here we go again. Dude, can anyone tell me why we're doing this! Anyone know who the director is this time?" Bobby asked while fidgeting with his shirt.

"Well young man, I am not exactly sure who the directors are, but I do believe we are performing our own rendition of 'Spider-Man'." Hank McCoy answered as he stepped out from the X-van and walked past Bobby into the studio.

Rogue walked in behind the doctor with an annoyed glare on her face. "Ah swear, Swamp Rat, if ya say one more thing to me I'll knock ya inta the next time zone!"

"O', _chere_, y' know dat y' love Remy." Remy said as he followed close behind the enraged goth.

"If ya have a death wish, jus keep talkin'!"

"CAN IT! You two have been goin' at it for an hour now!" SNIKT "Gumbo, get away from Stripes and shut up." Logan moved closer to Remy to make his point. Remy reluctantly did as told, but shot Rogue a quick smile.

At that moment the directors finally decided to make their presence known.

"Like, now that everyone has finally decided to arrive we can begin with the casting!" Kitty Pryde promptly plopped herself down into one of the two director chairs located near the set.

"Whoaaa, I do not believe this! There is no way that I'm going to be bossed around by her!" Bobby said as he started for the exit.

"Hold it right zere, comrade," Piotr called out," If you do not want to listen to my Katja zen you will listen to me!"

Piotr took his seat next to Kitty in the other director's chair and started flipping through some pages on a clipboard.

The rest of the x-men gathered around the two directors awaiting their decided doom.

"Kitty, ya do remember that ah know where ya sleep, right?"

"Sure, Rogue. Like, we're roommates. Duh!"

"Do ya understand what ah'm implyin' or do ah need to be more specific?" Rogue asked annoyed by the entire situation especially since she knew that Kitty most likely would pair her up with the Swamp Rat.

"Is that a threat? You do realize that I have total control, right. I could, like, totally mess with you. Don't forget that I know what you keep under your pillow, and I think that you wouldn't want a certain _sexy_ someone to find out!" Kitty was feeling quite good about herself. It wasn't everyday that she stood up to the Rogue, but this feeling didn't last long. Rogue stepped forward and Kitty paled.

"Piotr, Save me!" Kitty screamed as she lunged over her chair and onto his lap.

"_Chere_, is dere somethin' dat y' hidin' from de team?" Remy smirked as he looked over at Rogue who was giving Kitty a glare that could send shivers down the back of Wolverine. Rogue then turned her attention to the beaming Cajun.

"I didn't know dat y'cared, _mon chere_!" A small blush began to show in Rogue's cheeks.

_I am not blushing! I don't care what that stupid, egocentric, thieving, aggrandizing, pompous, handsome …. Whoaa, stop right there. I did not just think that did I? I am not going to let that Cajun get to me today. _

"Ah don't and wipe that stupid smirk off your face, Swamp Rat!"

"Okay, can we, like, totally get back to business? We have to get the casting done before the end of the night." Kitty started looking over her notes and smiled to herself. Yes, she was going to have a good time!

"Piotr and I have talked and decided that the lead role of Peter Parker could go to no one other than Remy. I mean, like, he's so agile, strong, cute…. Oh… ummm… yeah." Kitty noticed Rogue giving her an unusual look and pulled her self back to reality.

"No offense cutie," Kitty gave Piotr a hug, "You're still the only one for me!"

"Let's get on with this. I want to know what part I have to play." Scott interrupted the moment, taking Jean's hand.

"Yeah, last time we had the worst parts. I mean, really, someone as pretty as me deserves to be in the lead once in awhile." Jean added as she leaned into Scott.

"GET A ROOM!" Almost every person in the room screamed at the couple.

"Ah think I know who plays the part of Mary Jane considerin' who was cast as Spidey," Rogue huffed in the general direction of the directors trying to keep her eyes from wondering back to the Cajun. _Why does he have to look so good? Stop it girl! What the hell is wrong with me… I do NOT like the Swamp rat…. right…_

"The part of Mary Jane Watson goes to…. Jean!" Kitty was smiling widely and waited for the response.

"WHAT!!!!!!" Everyone was in shock.

"Wow, I finally got the lead role. I can't believe it. Wait, this means I have to kiss… HIM! Oh… well, it could be worse, I mean I could have been paired with Bobby. Sorry Scott." Jean was quite pleased and gave her boyfriend a little hug.

"Ah don't believe it… Jean?" Rogue pondered this a moment. _I always get paired with Remy. I can't believe Kitty of all people would pair him up with HER_. Rogue looked over to Jean who was still hugging Scott and then she felt a strange twinge in her stomach. _I am NOT jealous of that pathetic prep over the Swamp Rat_. Then the image of Jean actually kissing Remy popped into her head.

"NO! NO! NO!... Ah mean… Jean… and Remy…. NO WAY! Kitty, what are ya thinkin'!" Everyone turned their attention to Rogue who suddenly realized what she had sputtered. Remy was starring at her with a satisfied smirk on his face, and Kitty was smiling from ear to ear.

"I am, like, totally kidding Rogue. Chill out. Do you actually think I would break you and Remy apart? I mean you two are so perfect together."

"Sorry Jean, but Katja was just trying to get a rise out of Rogue. Guess it worked, _Da_?"

"Yeah, sorry Jean, but the real Mary Jane is going to be played by my roomie, Rogue!" Kitty had to phase to dodge the punch that Rogue tried to plant on her shoulder.

"Gawd, Ah jus knew that Ah'd be paired up with that Swamp Rat!" Rogue crossed her arms in front of her chest and sat down, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

John leaned in on Remy who was now shuffling some cards in his hands, "Oy, mate, wasn't the Sheila just complaining about not being paired up with you?"

Remy just smiled and shook his head.

"Okay… well, John you have the part of Harry Osborn." Kitty continued listing the cast with Piotr.

"Logan, you get to play John's dad, Norman a.k.a. the Green Goblin."

"Great, I just love beating the crap out of Gumbo! This little diversion may not be so bad after all."

"_Da_, Ororo is going to play Aunt May and Dr. McCoy will play the part of Uncle Ben." Piotr said as he continued where Kitty left off.

"Stormy, looks like y' get t' work wit Remy again!" Remy threw his arm around Storm and gave her a little hug.

"So it seems, and don't call me that." Storm lowered his arm away as she walked over to Logan.

"Jamie, we'll need you to fill in some spots as extras and to play the role of some little children."

"No problem, Kitty!" Jamie happily exclaimed.

"What about me! Don't I even get a role in this film? You can't just leave me out!" Jean shouted as she gave Kitty and Piotr a small push with her TK.

"Chill out, Jean. Yeah, you get a role. You're going to play the part of Miss Brant."

"Who is Miss Brant?" Jean didn't think she'd like the answer.

"Well… in the comics, she was Peter's love interest for awhile, but in the film she's just the secretary at the newspaper," Kitty answered.

"Great, so I get demoted from the lead character to a secretary! You are so unfair!" Jean stormed off to the back of the set. Rogue looked over to Kitty and gave her roommate a small smile.

"What about me? Do I have a part in this fiasco?" Scott questioned why the Professor continued to allow his students participate in such activities, but if he had to do it he wanted a good part at least.

"Scott, you are going to play Mary Jane/Rogue's high school boyfriend." Piotr answered as he consulted the cast list Kitty had made.

"WHAT!" Remy and Rogue yelled in unison.

"Calm down you two! Gosh, it's only a small part and you get to hit him Remy. I thought you'd like that." Kitty stated I her defense.

"Ah can't believe that you are makin' me date SCOTT!" Rogue gave Kitty her patented glare.

"_Mon chere_ is not going t' be wit him, pretend or real. _Non_!" Remy walked over and put a possessive arm around Rogue's waist. Rogue amazingly didn't push him away but rather actually leaned into him the tiniest bit. Kitty noticed this and smiled. Rogue noticed that Kitty noticed and stiffened.

"Get your hands off of me Swamp Rat!" Rogue yelled as she pushed him away from her.

"I am not going to change the cast just because you two feel a little uncomfortable with Scott. After all, Rogue, you did have a crush on him. Oooops!" Kitty realized her mistake almost immediately.

"Ya need ta decide now if ya want ta die slow or quick, cause Ah'm about to make your wish come true!" Rogue lunged for Kitty who phased herself through Rogue and ran to Piotr.

"Wow, Rogue has a crush on me! I never knew." Scott said as he watched Rogue chase Kitty around the set.

"HAD! HAD! I had a crush on ya, but ah finally came to my senses ya prick!" Rogue continued to chase Kitty for a few more seconds but finally gave up and decided it would be easier to catch her off guard later and then exact her revenge.

"Can we please get on with this? Gosh, who knew that casting the parts could actually take this long!" Kitty sighed as she took her seat in the director's chair next to Piotr once again.

"Kurt, you will be playing the part of Mr. Jameson, the owner of the newspaper." Piotr continued.

"Vell, that sounds gűt to me." Kurt said glad to finally be noticed.

"That takes care of the main parts. The rest of you will be given your parts as they appear since they will be kinda minor. Sorry guys, but there just aren't that many great parts in this one. We'll call it a day for today and we'll meet back on the set first thing in the morning!" Kitty said as she closed her notebook and stood to leave.

"_Da_! Come, Katja, let's get some rest. We'll need it." Piotr said as he took Kitty by the hand and led her off the set.

All the others looked at each other and decided that rest sounded good to them too. They all left the set determined to return tomorrow and convince Kitty that this is not a good idea.

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A/N: So what did you think? Anyone interested in the other chapters? If I get a favorable response, I could post chapter 2 very soon.


	2. Remy Parker

Disclaimer: You guessed it! I don't own Spider-man or marvel's x-men…sigh

A/N: I would have had this posted two days ago, but I couldn't get it to upload. Sorry for the wait!

**CHAPTER 2: Remy Parker**

"Where is everyone, Piotr?" Kitty asked as she looked around the empty set.

"They are on zeir way, Katja. Rogue insisted zat zey stop for coffee before coming today. I believe she almost maimed Scott who was driving the X-Van when he refused." Piotr answered.

"That's, like, okay. I guess. It'll give us some extra time to prepare the stage and props. I'm, like, so glad that Forge is here today to help with the technical stuff. We so couldn't do much without his help."

After a few more minutes, the cast and crew finally arrived. Everyone filtered in and made their way to the dressing rooms. Jean walked in with a whimpering Scott hanging on her shoulder, while Rogue had a very devilish but satisfied grin on her face.

"Okay, people, let's get a move on. Katja wants everyone ready to start in 15 minutes!" Piotr yelled in the general direction of the dressing rooms.

"I think I have everything that you need for this scene, Kitty. I'll stick around in case there are any complications." Forge said as he carried a small black box towards the directors.

"What's in the box Forge?" Kitty asked.

"Well, this is a little something for Rogue. I believe it'll nullify her powers, but it will only last for about 30 minutes at a time." Forge answered as he handed the box to Kitty.

"Oh my gosh! This will be so great! We'll have to keep it secret. Can you imagine her face when she actually realizes that she'll be able to touch Remy! This will make my plan so much easier!" Kitty exclaimed as she examined the ring inside.

"Katja, what plan are you referring to?" Piotr asked but was sure he already had an idea.

"Like come on, Piotr! The 'Operation- get- Rogue-to- admit- she-likes-Remy' plan!" Kitty answered.

Kitty quickly put the small box into her purse as Rogue stepped out of her dressing room.

"Well, at least Ah don't have tah wear a fluffy pink dress this time." Rogue stated as she examined her outfit for the day. She was wearing a pale purple shirt and black pants topped with a green sweater jacket. Her hair was left down with her white bangs framing her face.

"Wow, Rogue, you look, like, totally amazing! I told you that you would look so much better without all that make-up!" Kitty exclaimed as she ran over to Rogue.

"Whatever." Rogue said as she tried to find a place to wait until everyone was ready.

Everyone gathered in front of the directors one by one until everyone was present with the exception of one noticeable character…Remy.

"Where the hell is the Swamp Rat! We've been ready for 10 minutes!" Rogue shouted.

"Like, maybe, you should go check on him?" Kitty interjected with a small grin on her face.

"Ah don't think so!" Rogue answered as she plopped herself down in a chair on the side of the set.

Just as Rogue sat down, Remy came out of his dressing room followed by Tabitha.

"I think you look cute, Remy. After all Peter isn't exactly a hot stud at the beginning of the show." Tabitha said as they got closer to the gathered group.

"_Petite_, Remy is not goin' t' wear dis! _Non_!" Remy said as he began to pout.

"Remy, you have to look like Peter. I'm sorry it isn't exactly the coolest outfit, but it's only for one day." Kitty reassured him and gave him a small hug.

"Finally, the Swamp Rat has tah wear somethin' that he doesn't want tah!" Rogue said as she began to laugh, causing Remy to pout even more.

"I tried my best, guys, but it's really hard to make someone as cute as Remy look like a nerd. I think it'll work though." Tabby said while checking out the work she had done to Remy. This made Remy lighten a little bit.

Tabby had put him in a pair of dark rimed glasses, slicked down his auburn hair, and taken away his trench coat. He was wearing loose blue jeans with a brown belt, a striped polo shirt, and a grey hoodie jacket on top. He definitely didn't look like the hottie that he normally was.

"_Merde_, I feel like Scott!" Remy huffed as he made his way to the stage.

"HEY! I heard that!" Scott yelled.

"Okay, can we please get started? Everyone take your places!" Kitty ordered as the lights when dim.

A voice is heard coming from the black set…

"Who am I? Y' sure dat y' want t' know? D' story of my life is not f'r d' faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy lil' tale…if somebody told y' I was jus' an average guy, not a care in d' world…somebody lied." Remy began as the lights came up on the set and a street scene appeared thanks to Forge.

Inside a school bus we see a group of students. Remy continues.

"But let me assure y', dis, like any story worth tellin' is all about a girl."

"Okay, Evan, close up on Rogue!" Kitty yelled to her crew.

"Dat girl. D' girl next door. Marie Watson. D' woman I've loved since before I liked girls." Remy said. "Wait, dere was a time I didn't like girls?"

"Stick to the script, comrade!" Piotr yelled noticing Kitty frustration.

Scott, who was sitting next to Rogue, put his arm around her. Remy noticed this and glared at him, but continued with his lines.

"I'd like t' tell y' dat's me next t' her." Remy continues.

The camera pans up to Freddy who was eating a jelly donut in the seat in front of the couple.

"Aw, _merde_, I'd even take him."

Freddy notices something out the window of the bus and begins to laugh.

"Hey! Stop d' bus!" Remy shouts as he hits the window of the bus next to Freddy.

"Dat's me."

"Tell him t' stop! Please!" Remy says, "-I can't believe dat I'm dis pathetic!-"

"GAMBIT! Stick to the script!!!!" Kitty yells.

Remy continues running alongside the bus yelling for the driver to stop the bus. Rogue finally gets up and tells the driver to stop the bus… only because it's in the script_… right_.

"Stop! He's been chasin' us since Woodhaven." Rogue yells at the driver who happens to be Ray.

Ray stops the bus and all the students are disappointed. Remy climbs up and begins to look for a seat.

"What a geek!" yells Bobby who is sitting in the bus.

"Don't even think about it!" Jubilee says as Remy looks at the seat next to her.

"You're so lame, Parker!" Bobby continues his insults.

Freddy shakes his head now as Remy makes his way past him.

_Remy has never been turned down so much 'n his life. Now I know how Scott feels every day_. Remy thought as he made his way through the bus.

"Hey, I heard that!" Jean yells onto the set.

Remy finally makes his way to Rogue who gives him a look of pity. Remy smiles at Rogue just as Bobby trips him in the aisle. Everyone begins to laugh, until…

"Dat's it!" Remy jumps up and shows Bobby a handful of charged playing cards.

"Yo, man! Chill out. It was all in the script! Help!" Bobby takes off running out of the bus and Remy chases him.

"Piotr, catch Remy so we can continue on to the next scene." Kitty pleads.

"Sure, Katja. I'll just follow the screams." Piotr says as he walks off into the direction where Bobby can be heard pleading for his life.

Kitty runs over to Rogue and catches her before she can make it to her dressing room.

"So, how do you like it so far, roomie?" Kitty asked.

"Ah still can't believe you are makin' me get that close to Scott, but Ah did enjoy watchin' the Swamp Rat get his ego popped!" Rogue answered, but not forgetting the revenge she needs to exact on her friend for the heinous mistake she made the day before.

"Are you still mad at me about the whole Scott thing?" Kitty asked not sure she wanted n answer.

"What Scott thing?" Rogue asked as she turned and walked away and began laughing with a devilish smile on her face.

Kitty shuddered and hoped that Piotr would be back soon to protect her.

Remy and Piotr finally returned to the set followed by Bobby who looked like he had a bomb dropped on him.

"Kitty, Bobby will be needing a new outfit. His old one got burned." Poitr said as he glared at Remy.

"S'rry, _mon ami_, Remy jus' not like dat scene." Remy said as he slowly walked back to the set looking for Rogue.

"Mornin' _mon Chere_. Did y' miss _moi_?" Remy asked Rogue as she came out of her room.

"Nope, but Ah did like watchin' ya get tripped on that bus. It made my whole day!" Rogue smiled as she watched Remy start to pout, but the pout quickly changed to a smirk.

Remy leaned into Rogue and whispered into her ear. "Well, chere, I t'ink dat I can find a way to top dat." Rogue blushed slightly as she felt his hot breath on her neck.

Kitty and Piotr were watching this exchange and Kitty smiled as she jumped and gave Piotr a huge hug.

"I just knew this would totally work. They'll, like, be a couple before this is over!" Kitty said.

"Places, comrades! The laboratory scene is coming up next!"

The lights on the set went dark. When the lights came back on, the group of students was standing in front of a large building.

"No wandering. Remember it is a privilege to be here." Lance began as he stated the rules for the class.

"Man, why do I have to play the teacher." Lance complained.

As Lance continued to discuss the rules, Remy walked up to Rogue. She turned and seemed to smile at him. Remy began to smile back and then gave a small wave to her. She returns the wave, or seems to, until two of her friends walk right by him. Remy then realizes that she was looking at them the whole time. Rogue, Amara, and Wanda walk to catch up with the group leaving Remy behind.

As Remy continues toward the group, a Rolls pulls up.

"Can we drive around the corner, mate?" Pyro asks the driver.

"Why? The entrance is right there." Logan asks Pyro.

"Dad… something just feels wrong with this!" Pyro says after having to call Logan his father.

"Get over it Pyro and get back to the script or I'll take Zippy away forever!" Kitty threatened.

"NOOOO! Not Zippy!!!! Okay, Okay!" Pyro screamed and got back to his lines.

"Dad, these are public school kids. I'm not going to show up in a Rolls."

"I should trade in my car for a Jetta, kid, just because you flunked out of every private school?" Logan continued while trying to pull on his tie.

"Don't ever be ashamed of who you are." Logan continued after giving up on the tie.

"I'm not ashamed of who I am. It's just…." Pyro paused.

"Just what, bub?" Logan asked getting annoyed.

"Forget it." John climbs out of the car and joins Remy.

"John, won't you be needing this?" Logan yells as he climbs out of the car carrying John's backpack.

"Thanks." John says embarrassed.

"This is my father, Logan Osborn." John says as he introduces Remy to his father.

"I've heard so much about you. John says you're a science whiz. I'm something of a scientist myself." Logan says as he puts on a fake smile.

"I read y'r research on nanotechnology. Brilliant." Remy says wondering what the hell nanotechnology is.

"You understood it?" Logan asked.

"_Oui_, I wrote a paper on it." Remy answered.

"Impressive. Your parents must be very proud." Logan says.

"Hey you two! Let's move!" Lance yells from behind Remy and John.

Remy and John turn to join the group of students.

"He doesn't seem so bad." Remy says. "I can't believe I'm sayin' dis. I know, I know. Stick to the script!"

"Oy, mate, not if you're a genius. I think he wants to adopt you." John frowns.

"Right! When Hell freezes over!" Logan yells from off set.

The lights on the set go dark once again and when they come back on the students are in the lab. Betsy is there and is describing the spider experiment.

John and Remy walk in.

"That's amazing!" John says pointing to a large piece of equipment in the center of the room which he's certain belongs to either Forge or Hank.

"Dat is d' most advanced electron microscope on d' East Coast." Remy explains.

"Do you actually know about some of this stuff, mate?" John whispers to Remy.

"_Oui_, y' learn a lot about expensive equipment when y'r a thief!" Remy smirks.

Rogue is walking next to Scott in front of Remy and John. Scott puts his arm around her and tries to kiss her on her neck using her hair as a barrier. Jean is offstage giving Rogue her own version of the death glare.

Rogue pushes Scott away, "Gawd, get away!"

Scott looks back at Remy who is obviously getting very angry. Scott quickly removes his arm from Rogue and continues walking. Rogue catches Remy watching and gives him a look that says 'I'm sorry'.

Scott walks over and joins Bobby. They stand next to Remy who is trying to take a picture for the school paper. As he takes the picture, Scott bumps into him effectively ruining the shot. Remy glares back at Scott, but remembers that was in the script so continues on.

As Betsy continues to discuss the various spiders, Remy again tries to take a photo. This time Bobby knocks into his shoulder.

"Leave him alone." John says to Bobby.

"Or What?" Bobby asks.

"Or his father will fire your father." Scott says in a sarcastic tone. "What's Daddy gonna do? Sue me?"

"Well, he could gut you with his adamantium claws?" John simply states.

"What! John!" Kitty yells. "Why do I put up with this? The next person who goes off from the script will have their heart phased out of their body!"

"Alrighty, Sheila. Sorry!"

"What is going on?" Lance says getting back to the scene as he grabs Scotts arm. "The next person who talks will fail this course. I kid you not!"

Betsy continues with her scientific talk. John spots a cool spider and draws Remy's attention to it.

"Y' know dat some spiders can change dere appearance t' blend in wit dere surroundin's. It's a defense mechanism." Remy says.

"Remy, what makes you think that I'd want to know that?" John honestly asks.

"Who wouldn't!" Remy asks.

Rogue walks over to a display in front of Remy and John.

"Mate, you gonna talk to her now?" John asks edging Remy towards Rogue.

"Oh, _non_. Come on. Y' talk t' her." Remy says although he really does want to go talk to Rogue.

John walks over to Rogue who instinctively moves a little away from him.

"Disgusting," Rogue says while looking at the spiders but thinking about Scott touching her.

"Hateful little buggers," John states trying to start up a conversation with her.

"Ah love em!" Rogue says in response.

"Yeah, me too!" John quickly changes his opinion earning him a confused look from Rogue.

Remy walks up closer behind John and Rogue and hears John continue the conversation.

"You know, spiders can change their color to blend into their environment." John says smiling knowing that he just stole that line from a thief.

"Really?" Rogue asks.

"Yeah, it's a defense mechanism." John finishes and looks over his should to Remy who actually looks a little hurt.

Betsy continues her rant about the spiders and Rogue only picks up on the last part, "…into these 15 genetically designed super-spiders."

"There's 14." Rogue corrects her.

"I beg your pardon?" Betsy asks looking a little surprised that someone would actually dare to correct her.

"One's missing." Rogue says pointing to the empty slot.

"Oh, it must be in testing." Betsy quickly answers.

The camera pans up and zooms in a spider web above the heads of the students.

John sees another moment to steal one of Remy's lines.

"Do you know that this is the largest electron…" Johns starts to say before Lance interrupts him.

"You were talking throughout Betsy's entire presentation. Let's go talk about listening." Lance grabs John and pulls him away from Rogue.

Remy sees this as his chance to talk to Rogue who is still standing in front of the display.

"Hey!" Remy says trying to get Rogue's attention.

Rogue turns around and sees Remy standing behind her with a camera.

"Could I take y'r picture? I need one wit a student 'n it." Remy asks shyly.

"Sure," Rogue answers and gives him a slight smile.

"Great!" Remy says.

"Where do ya want me?" Rogue asks.

"Well, _mon chere_, I can t'ink of several answers t' dat question." Remy whispers so that only Rogue can hear causing her to blush slightly. He continues with his lines, "Ov'r dere. _Oui_, dat's great!"

"Don't make me look ugly!" Rogue says, "Gawd, that is so Jean!"

"Dat's impossible, _chere_." Remy says to her previous comment.

Remy starts taking pictures of Rogue as she poses in front of the spiders. While he is taking the photos, the rogue spider lowers itself from its web and lands on Remy's hand.

It crawls down his hand and bites him.

"OWWW! _Merde_, dat hurt!" Remy shouts.

"Oh gawd ya baby! Suck it up!" Rogue says as she looks over at Remy who is shaking his hand as if it will make the pain go away.

"Easy for y' t' say! Y' didn' have one of Forge's machines bite y'!"

Rogue and the other students walk off the set as the lights go down. Once off the set and when she feels no one is watching, Rogue walks over to Remy who is still nursing his hand.

"Sorry. Ya okay, sugah?" Rogue asked as she takes his hand and looks at it.

"_Oui_, jus' wasn' expectin' it t' hurt so bad." Remy answered giving Rogue a small smile. "Didn' know y' cared, _chere_."

"Yeah, whatever." She said and then turned and walked back to her room.

Kitty, who was watching from the shadows, took this as a good sign, and if nothing else it would make great blackmail material!

The lights on the set came on once again, this time revealing a new lab with Logan and some other scientists.

"We solved the horizon glide and the balance issues." Sabretooth said.

"I've already seen the glider." Yells Magneto dressed in a military uniform. "That's not what I am here for."

"General Slocum, good to see ya again." Logan says as he starts to walk up to the group. "Always a pleasure to have our board of directors visit."

"I want to see the progress report on human enhancers." Magneto stated bluntly.

"We tried vapor inhalation with rats. Their strength increased by 800" Sabretooth quickly added.

"Any side effects?" Magneto asked.

"Once."

"All the tests since then have been successful." Logan growled before Sabretooth could continue.

"And in the trial that went wrong, what happened?" Magneto persisted.

"Violence, aggression, and insanity." Sabretooth answered giving Logan a satisfied smile.

"With the exception on Dr. Sabretooth," Logan growls, "our staff certifies the product ready for human testing."

"Dr. Sabretooth?" Magneto asks.

"We need to take the whole line back to formula." He answers.

"Back to formula?" Logan glares at Sabretooth.

"Dr. Osborn. I'm going to be frank with you. I never supported your program. We have my predecessor to thank for that." Magneto begins.

"Logan, the general has approved Quest Aerospace to build a prototype of their exoskeleton. They test in two weeks." Sam says as one of the board members.

"And if your performance enhancers have not had a successful human trial by that date, I'm going to pull your funding. I'm going to give it to them. Gentlemen, Ladies." Magneto finishes as he leaves the lab.

The lights on the set go dark and everyone clears the stage.

"Okay, comrades. Zis will be ze last scene for ze day. Places!" Piotr yells as everyone prepares for the next scene change.

"Lights, camera, action!" Kitty yells. "I always wanted to say that!"

The lights come on revealing a quiet street with several small houses.

"And the Lord said, 'Let there be light.' And voila! There is light." Hanks says as he screws in a light bulb. "Forty soft, glowing watts of it."

"Good boy. God will be thrilled. Just don't fall on your ass." Storm says as she comes out of the kitchen.

"I'm already on my ass, Ororo. When the plant's senior electrician is laid off after 35 years what else would you call it? I am on my ass." Hank says.

"Hand me that dish, the green one." Ororo asks.

"The corporation is downsizing the people and upsizing their profits." Hank continues on his rant.

"Oh, Hank. You'll get another job somewhere." Ororo reassures him.

"Well, let's look in the paper and see. There are the want ads. What do we got here? Computer salesman, computer engineer, computer analyst. My stars and garters, even computers need analysts these days. I'm 68. I am too old for computers and besides, I have a family to provide for." Hank says as he leans back in a chair.

"I love you, and Remy loves you. You are the most responsible man I've ever known. We've been down-and-out before. But somehow, we survive." Ororo says as she walks over to Hank and puts her arm over his shoulder.

Remy walks in the front door.

"Hi, sweetie. You're just in time for dinner." Ororo says.

"How you doing? How was the field trip?" Hank asks.

"I don' feel well. I'm goin' go t' sleep." Remy says as he quickly makes his way to the stairs.

"You won't have a bite?" Ororo asks with a little concern.

"_Non_, already had a bite." Remy answers thinking back to the spider.

"Did you get some pictures, Remy?" Hank asks as Remy walks up the stairs.

"I gotta crash. Everyt'ing 's fine." Remy answers as he walks into his room.

As Remy walks into his room and closes the door, he takes of his shirt. Tabby, Amara, and Jubilee start to whistle and shout earning them glares from Rogue. Scott sees that Jean is starting to stare and nudges her in the side.

Remy starts to walk to the bed, but begins to feel dizzy and falls onto the side of it. He manages to grab the cover as he falls. He lands on the floor and wraps the cover over his chest.

"AWWWW," the girls cry out. Rogue rolls her eyes at the girls.

Betsy's voice is heard in a microphone restating some of the information from the lab, explaining what the super-spiders can do. Remy falls into a sleep.

"That's a wrap for today guys! You all have done pretty well, but I do expect more of you to stick to the script next time!" Kitty says as she and Piotr start to walk to the exit.

Remy stands up on stage and picks up his shirt. He sees Rogue gathering up some of her things and walks over to her.

"_Chere_, feel like getting' some coffee wit dis ol' Swamp rat?" Remy asked as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Ah could go for some caffeine right about now, but wipe that smirk off yer face, Cajun. Ah'll go, but this is NOT a date… jus coffee." Rogue says as Remy puts his arm around her waist and leads her out to his motorcycle.

* * *

A/N: Okay...I combined chapters two and three into one so that's why it's longer. If there's interest, I'll keep working on this one in between my other two stories. The next chapter of Amor will be out this weekend. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I just love hearing from everyone! 


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